Rainbow 23

The 8-Shaded Rainbow –Part 23

BrO/ken

I am supposed to write about Dylan, but when I bumped into him and asked him about his relationship's status today, he answered right on that since he is not drunk, they are ON.  Oh well, let them be!  Let us move on then.

A friend of mine forwarded a mini-article to me which was written by a primary school student saying, if he would be an object, he wanted to be a television - because he wanted to be the center of everybody's attention; he wanted to be sorrounded by his entire family; he wanted his dad to spend time, looking just at him no matter how tired he is from work; he wanted his mom to find comfort in him when she is lonely and sad; he wanted his siblings to fight over who's gonna have the first turn to be with him - he just wanted to be a TV.

I forwarded the same mini-article to Reiley who reacted to it exactly as I did - sadly.  He then asked me out of the blue: How about you Jessie, if you will be an object, what would you be?  I readily said, I would be a Potty.  Why? Because I feel like everyone is shitting on me.  LOL.  Well,  I do sound bitter and dark but that was my mind set as of the time being.  Reiley was rather shocked with my words and volunteered that he would probably be a bedside lamp - it gives out light but it gets put off too at some point.  We laughed so hard together at our silliness.

 

Oh well now, let us get back to business.

The Alex-Chelsea saga has been quite a show for me.  The "he said, she said" portion per se was rather entertaining.  I arrived in the duplex yesterday and saw Alex in so much pain.  He said it's about this thing called "sciatic nerve" - an illness with pain around the lower back, which is so overwhelming that it goes all the way down to his left thigh and to his left knee making it so hard for him to get balance as he stands and when he tries to walk.  Oh believe me, I can see the twitching of his face on every single time that the pain comes back at a good 4-5 minute interval.

The next day, I was in the duplex again.  It was Jaz's birthday, I learned.  That's right, Jaz, Alex's other woman who called Chelsea and set the bomb off.  So we had Ice Cream cake and the boys drank like thirsty horses - as they always do.  And while Alex and Jaz are seated together, I was chatting with Chelsea online just a seat apart from the couple.  Alex, though still in pain, was noticeably and unbelievably goofy and funny.  He already had set an appointment with the Chiropractor he said, and he is going to the first session this coming Monday.  I told Chelsea right away and she naturally became too worried that she was almost about to get through the wall between her and Alex so that she will be there for him once again, as she always have had.

Chelsea, though hurt terribly, still has the heart of a wife no matter what.  And I can almost see them back together - right, easy for me to say and easy for me to draw the perfection of a man-woman relationship; too easy to tell them to just forgive and let go; too easy to tell them to stay strong - too easy, when what I am actually trying to do is to talk to myself.  Until now, I couldn't help but feel miserable at the sight of a family, breaking apart.  It's instant - whenever such a sight is right in front of me, only two faces which are very recognizable by my eyes, comes to my vision, so vivid that I am wishing to cry so as to blur and wash the awful sight - Marcus and myself - over and over again.  Above all, I can see my daughter in the middle of it all and how I feel so sorry and in terrible pain that I just wanna get through it all, like the neutralizer or the arbiter, maybe the magician, if only to make it all easy and happy for my child.

Alex and Chelsea has a child too.  Chelsea told me that their son is missing his dad so much - at this point, without Chelsea knowing it, I let Alex read her message if only to let him know where he is coming from and where he is supposed to be going.  To be fair with Alex, I can tell how regretful he is - now that there's a great great chance of not being able to win his wife back; now that he is about to lose it all.  Apparently, Alex broke up with Jaz today, a couple of hours past midnight - a couple of hours after her birthday.  The rest of the gang somehow saw it happening, but who knows, maybe later today, on another gathering we are all set to go to, they might once again arrive together, like nothing happened.  My silent prayer however, is for Alex to have a sound decision, first, on what he wanted in his life; what he wanted to do and what would make him happy; second, that he, no matter what it takes, may be able to regain Chelsea's trust back again and for them to be able to build their life together one more time.

Just like  "Popoy and Basha" in this wonderful Filipino Movie entitled "One More Chance,"  I can only hope for Alex and Chelsea to find that strength to move forward, find themselves and hopefully, find each other again in the end, irregardless of how great the circumstances are. 

Amidst the various topics flying around the "drinking room," - from weeds, to coke to Chinese and Japanese languages, I was looking at every face making it's own distinct sound in the room where everyone wanted to be heard.  Jaz was a bit loud now than the usual, Ethan was extra jumpy too, Dylan is totally drunk and getting weird; two more guys who came in rather sheepishly and all, we're banting punchlines like pros; Maya who resisted beer earlier last night, is now downing shots of rum; Reiley was way down the kitchen, in his own world - talking online to who knows who.

When Alex sent Jaz home as what seemed to be the final act of the night, we all sit still and listened to each one's heartbeat.  And then, they were gone.  In a perfect queue, as if as the result of holding my breath while all the drama is on, I felt my stomach rumbling.  I scavenge around the kitchen but there's nothing there that I would like to eat.  Reiley and I decided to walk off and fill ourselves up in Tim Horton's.  When we came back with the rest of our coffee, bagel and sausage and egg muffins, Alex is back and is rummaging a plate of left over dinner.  The discussion went on - on how in the world could he still possibly win Chelsea back.   An endless loop it has become.

Reiley suggested that he should let her be - that he should give her time and space for two reasons: because she deserves it and because she is hurting which is very understandable.  Alex however, quite drunk and all, seem not to hear any word from us.  As I am listening to him, he sounds very much like a kid who wants only instant gratification.  He is insistent that he has done everything already, but I strongly disagreed.  He claims that all his efforts are in vain but both Reiley and I are telling him otherwise.

It was already 5 in the morning, and Alex needs to be at work at 7.  He quickly went up to his room and I quickly grabbed my laptop to start writing; Reiley quickly placed an overseas call to someone in the Philippines, to whom later on, I heard (I mean to eavesdrop, I admit) him saying "I love you" and "I miss you."  Oh dear, I could have given it to him and let it go if only I was not able to hear that it was a male voice too, coming from the other end of the line.  Okay, I could be wrong, I mean, there are females with a natural male voice tone, I know that.  Haha... let's try again.  I could totally have given it to him, if only Loraine and I were not discussing about Reiley's sexuality over the last few weeks; I could have actually made it pass, had I not known of Reiley's and Jeff's kiss sometime back around Valentine's Day.

Shoot, I heard Alex's screaming alarm clock upstairs and he seem to have totally passed out because the clock isn't shutting up.  I was in the living room downstairs.  I looked up at the clock which says 6:45am.  At 7o'clock, I packed my laptop, grabbed my jacket, put my sneakers on and was walking home in rhytmic steps anticipating another grand sleeping time in my own bed.  3degrees was wonderful especially with the perfect sunshine injecting the first and freshest serving of vitamin D through my back.

Wuhoo!  This is L-I-F-E!